When I was younger, starting during my high school years through most of my Military Academy period, I kept a journal. Not sure if you can call it a journal per se (no not a diary, you jerk) as I did not write about my day, but I wrote anything that would get my attention, or thoughts, fantasies, songs, pictures ... I doodle a lot in it ... a little of everything. More a notebook, I guess, a compendium of my thought processes. Unfortunately that notebook was lost during a train ride from Naples (the Academy is located in Pozzuoli, close to Naples) to my hometown. 

I am not ashamed to say that it was pretty ... dark. No, not dark in the sense of sad or depressing ... dark in the sense of heavy metal dark-like. And I read a lot of books related to black magic. No, not the stupid crap you find everywhere today. I am referring to works like "Il Grimorio di Papa Onorio", "La Chiave di Re Salomone" and derivates.
Interesting reading.
I have always been interested in Celtic and Etruscan civilization myths, Incas, Aztec and Maya related stories ... you get the drift.They were interesting readings as any similar mystery shrouded in history and the Mists of Avalon  <-- see what I did there? ...  Mists of Avalon ... admitted, that was a good way to loop back to Celtic myths.

Now I lost my train of thought and why I started this entry in the blog today. Talking about random thoughts :-)

=^^=      <--  this look like a kitty
 ><><    <-- X-Wing (from behind)
|-o-|        <-- Imperial Fighter
<-o->     <-- upgraded Imperial Fighter

OK OK ... random pictures now.

"HEY BABY... MEEEEOOOW"

 

         

Its Rosemary, not weed

RACOON!!! How did she get inside the house???

The Year of the Taurus. I will have to do something for that to happen or I will keep dragging behind me certain hurts and sadness. I guess you reach a point in which, even if it breaks your heart, a page needs to be turned. No I do not mean to just ignore or escape. Enough of that. It means change your attitude toward it. Accept what you cannot change and change what you can. Time to apply this concept to myself.

Don't worry if you do not understand what I am talking about. I do and that will have to be enough.

But I would like to thank a good friend of mine that has been close in the worse moment. She may not realize how much she helped me with just a few words and by being there. You know who you are. And yes, I did wiggle my toes. :-)

THANK YOU

Do you know what is would really be good right now? A hot honey and cinnamon beverage. Cimmanon ... Cimmamom ... it is a strange word and kinda hard to say, just like M&Ms. I normally say it sounding like "emmemens" instead of "em and ems". But back to beverage: two tablespoons of honey, better if raw unfiltered, and two teaspoons of cinnamon (they say 3, but you can't mix that much even on a large cup and you will have a bunch left on the bottom no matter how long you mix it) and hot water. Mix it all together. It is supposed to be good for your health in general, immune system, decreases cholesterol, makes you look younger (which in my case will make me look like a late 20s as I have been told I look like I am 35-36 already) ... blah blah  ... It tastes good!

 
New Dawn

Here are a couple more.

And a couple of Sunsets.

It only takes so many times and so many months of "I am sorry I do not have time to talk to you" over and over to reach the point where you just let go.
No, I am not that naive that it took this long. I got the message long time ago. I guess the reason I tried for so many times and for all these months was because in the back of my mind I still had hope. Hope of reconnect.
Not happening.
So, time to accept that it was just a spurious temporary connection and recognize that we have been drifting away... no, a better image is that I am anchored in the middle of the lake and you have been drifting away.
Hey, this is my perspective and point of view. You get your own.
Does not matter what the reason or the excuse is. The behavior and its result is what counts at the end.

Wait, maybe I am not anchored. And maybe this is not a lake. An abandoned vessel in the middle of a now desert would be a better image.
Damn ... that's sad and depressing!