Before you ask, no, last night I did not even think about turning on the PS4 and allow Destiny to download the update. But I feel I am justified in not thinking about it after last night.

Not the time for other things to happen. I need to start climbing out the hole, not dig it even deeper.

What happened last night? My problem, I just did not need it at this time in which I am already in the dumps. 

I'm feeling the way that I'm feeling myself
Fuck everyone else

Those are words from the song "My Name is Human", by Highly Suspect. I have been listening pretty much all day in a loop. The deep base guitar matches my mood.

I'm up off my knees, girl
I'm face to face with myself
And I know who I am
(Hello, my name is human)

Do I know who I am? Sometimes I wonder myself. Hagi, who are you? Who really are you inside? 

So figure it out or don't figure it out
I figured it out
The bigger the river (the bigger the river)
The bigger the drought (the bigger the drought)

Hello, my name is Human.

Hello, my name is Hagi.

Hello, my name is ... AH AH ... fooled you.

"I'm feeling the way that I'm feeling myself". 

I think I am realizing that I should just be alone, after all. I do not mean it physically. I am not going on a mountain cave and be a hermit. If I could only have friends without feeling all the emotional ties. Hello, my name is Spoagi. It is a combination of Spock (the half vulcan) and Hagi.

I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. It is a state of mind. As I said, I need to walk on the other side of the road and just go my way.
Let's see how long I last before I go back and retrace my steps, feeling depressed again ... blah blah ...
How does that saying go?

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me thrice ... what the f... What the Hell was I thinking!?!

Yeah, well ... I guess I was hoping for the best and I got shafted ... again.

Ok Hagi, ENOUGH!!! You hashed this over and over and the conclusion is always the same. Accept it and move on.

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Moving on.
"Thrice" is also the name of an American rock band. The first time I heard of them was on the radio when they played "Black Honey". Check it out. Nice music. The words are easy to interpret. Even if I do not agree with some of the concepts expressed in the song, I still like it. In fact, I am listening to it right now.

I really wanted to play Destiny the other day. Turned on PS4, started game, 40+ GB update ... of fucking course ...
If you do not know, my Internet connection is relatively limited and a 40 GB download is several hours in the making. Anyway, will have to start the download before going to bed and let it run next day while at work. And yes, I forgot to do it. Maybe I will remember tonight.