Even if I try to stay away, I keep going back to the same thoughts over and over. That is because certain feelings are true and they are not something I can turn off. As I said before they are there and there is nothing I can do.
Somehow I need to find a way to ignore these thoughts and feelings. I think I am doing good and have accepted the situation, made a reason out of it, put it all behind me ... and here I am at it again.
I KNOW! What I feel is not reciprocated, probably it never was anyway. Realizing that, it  helps me stay away, but that all is doing. The emptiness and the festering feeling of lost hope are still there. How can I fill that space so I can heal?